veritas vos liberabit

the only life worth living is one that is truthful to yourself

“Confront the dark parts of yourself,
work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness.
Your willingness to wrestle with your demons
will cause your angels to sing.” (August Wilson)

a week before you broke up with me
you admitted your depression had reared up
making you withdrawn, distant
short-tempered and confused

you said you didn’t want to talk about it
because doing so made it real
as if you could make a chemical imbalance
cease to exist
simply by ignoring it

the weakest thing in the world is pretending.
the truth will set you free

why i walk

i walk because
when i sit my thoughts go nowhere
they circle around and around
like flies to a carcass
questions flitting from one answer to the next
never landing on anything
never reaching a conclusion

when i walk they move with me
they reach somewhere
get settled

settled,
they leave me
my mind clears once again
the incessant barking to figure it out
questions that never leave
they stop

deceit


you once said
“i’ve never felt this way about anyone before.
every other time i was in a relationship
it was just kinda like ‘ehhh i guess i’ll do this.’”

which at the time i thought was sweet
but is actually so incredibly shitty
how could you be so cavalier about other people’s feelings?
why would you do that to them?

or was that just
one of the lies you tell yourself
will you say that about me too?

The Kindness of Strangers: Waiting in the ER circa 3am

I was sitting upright on the examination table, waiting
for that special team they call in for cases like mine
when a janitor walked in to switch out the trash.

“How are you doing?” He said
“Alright” – the best I could manage
“Then why are you up there on that table?”
A wry smile and silence
“But you will be alright.”
I nodded, “Yeah, I will be.”

“But you’re not alright now, so why did you say you are?”
“I don’t know, people lie about that all the time.
You ask how they are and they just smile and say they’re fine.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” he said, his tired eyes locked on mine,
“But there’s a time and a place for everything,
and you don’t have to say you’re alright right now.”